It's not wrong to be yourself

Even how much I vomited,
Nothing came out,
Exept from that blood so red,
I just wanted to shout,

Shout in desperation,
Shout out in regret,
How did I end up in this situation,
I wasn't this close to death,

I'm starving to be something,
But soon I'll just be bones and skin,
Why didin't I stop everything,
When did I get so thin,

Even if I start eating,
It's soon to late,
I soon won't hear my heart beating,
I've always thrown away the plate,

Never normal again,
I didin't thought it woul'd be like this,
I didin't know it was such a pain,
I don't know how bad the situation is,

When I look into the mirror,
All I see is fat,
Is this really worth to die for,
Why didin't I realise that,

I do not have so long,
I'm getting so weak,
Were did I go wrong,
To tired to even speak,

I have to stop this from happening,
I have a psychic disease,
Before I turn into nothing,
I want to try to get past these,

I really want to stop me,
I don't give my body any respect,
Others just disagree,
I can't be perfect,

I'm so sorry for the trouble I cause,
I myself got into this mess,
I'm not exepting any aplause,
Strenght is something I do not longer possess,

I do not now when it started,
It's just about when,
Sooner or later I drop dead,
I don't want that to happen,

I need help but you turn your back to me,
You are walking away,
Because you can't stand to see,
This being so weak every day,

I'm trapped inside,
I'm going to try harder from now on,
I have to keep up this stride,
Otherwise I'll be gone,

I woul'd need you to stay beside,
I don't want you to stand on my grave,
I did this because I was denied,
I've never been brave,

I wonder if those people know how I feel,
When I'm slowly passing their only word,
It only gave me lies so unreal,
They gave me an idea so absurd,

I will behave in the future,
If I get another chance,
If I get help to cure,
And for once get to glance,


I won't give up this life,
I know now that you have to forgive,
Please take my advice,
Always remember It's importent to live,

Live on and don't stop that way,
Smile with your happiness,
Don't care about what the others say,
They just can't stand you braveness..


It's deticted to a friend of mine and fortunately she doesn't have this much of a problem. But I just want you to understand that you can be yourself because that's the side that I like so much. :D If you got a problem, get rid of it and don't be afraid to ask for help! We'll always be here for you.

Lucifer's secret

Before I woul'd have escaped and lied,
My nightmares are getting corrupt,
I used to run because I didin't tried,
I'm no longer in any doubt,

I can't regret any longer,
I want to stop this illusion,
Open my arms to the reaper,
Getting burried in confusion,

I'm standing in an ocean of emptiness,
My hands are stained in red,
Have to stop this mess,
To the path I'm being led..

I do not own any right to survive,
But still I'm the only one to,
The one that Lucifer made alive,
The mistake that pierced through,

The bounds of tainted blood,
Want to turn the other way,
Don't want to see the flood,
I don't want to listen to what you say,

I'm standing in an ocean of emptiness,
My hands are stained in red,
I'm swallowed up by darkness,
I'm so damn mislead,

The life that has been given to me,
Was I really the one choosen,
I'm normally the one to flee,
You must be mistaken,

I've never liked the light,
In my nightmares,
he was always there,
Sometimes I couldn't stand the night,
But he took away my biggest fear,

Breaking the contract,
Taking on the lead,
Ignoring the fact,
Of what I really need..

My nightmares all came true,
I'm left to finish this deep wound,
My selfishness grew,
While breaking the bound,

Doomed is the innocent and foolish one,
Who dwells in an open wall,
I do not want to be alone,
Can't someone just break my fall..
Breaking the contract,
Taking on the lead,
Ignoring the fact,
Of what I really need,
Of what I really need...

I'm standing in an ocean of emptiness,
My hands are stained in red,
Have to stop this mess,
To the path I'm being led..

Don't want you back

I wonder if you did those things to be different,
Because it was of desperation,
To someone to knowledge your existence,
For someone to understand your situation,
No particular reason woul'd force me,
To pretend to be blind,
I'm the one I want to be,
And that freaks out your mind,
You live your life through me,
You doesn't care at all,
If I coul'd I would rather flee,
Than waiting for someone to break my fall,
Get out of my life I can't decide,
I think I'm loosing control,
Even if I tried,
It wouldn't help my soul,
You ask for shelter and protection,
But I wont give you a track,
I wont give you a simple direction,
Because I don't want you back..

¨*Disguised*

I wake up every day,
Hidden behind a disguise,
I don't care about what others say,
Still I seem to find an excuse,
To stay away from my friends,
Using their weakness,
To get to their hearts,
Breaking it in my wilderness,

Before my eyes,
A shattered awakening,
Mindless feeling down,
A strangeous whisper,
Resistance waiting,
I'm falling, Into the despair
Which raised my head,
Children dance,
When I start to realize,
Theres nothing but a swallow chance,
That I will survive,
That Beast in the end Of night,

I'm here inside,
Can't break out,
Screaming for another way,
A childs voice whisper out my name,
There is the darkness in my heart,
Thoughtless Innocent child of memories,
In the eyes of solution,

Stained in blood,
I raise my hands,
To where I can see the light,
Souless child lost in the dark,
Can it be that you, the one that prisoned me here,
You held me here,
Where I can't escape,
What is your sorrow,
Locked into this abandoned place of nothing,
Where will you lead me?
Why are you gone?

Cant you see?
I'm here inside,
Can't break out,
I'm so lost in yesterday,
Want to break down,
leave it open,
Live trough today,
To be gone to tomorrow,
Beast hidden in shadows,
where no one can ever find me..

I'm inside this room,
Locked in the path in between,
This world and another,
The gentle voice inside,
Is no longer there for me,
I want to see your face,
Is this nightmare true,
I'm way of base,
I'm falling straight through,
My own nightmare,
Is now real,
Living here inside me,
Apart from reality..

It's no use struggling,
I'm waiting for you,
I will wait forever,
I can't see you anymore,
But I won't give up this life,
It's no use living if you're not here,
Whatever I'll fight but don't go there,
Reality shatter and open the path to this God abondoned road,
There is no power to reload,
That voice is calling, That locked me inside this room,
When My life's over, It's up to you..

Cant you see?
I'm here inside,
Can't break out,
I'm so lost in yesterday,
Want to break down,
leave it open,
Live trough today,
To be gone to tomorrow,
Beast hidden in shadows
where no one can ever find me..